Monday, February 23, 2009
Poor girl
Once upon a time there was have one girl is very poor. The girl no have family. The girl always want to learn but not enough money to go in the school. Have one family is middle. They no have child. They take her to live with them . They take the girl go to school and buy some clothes for the girl. They put her name is Dalin . They love Dalin so much. Dalin is a clever girl. Dalin always number 1 all the students. Her family take her to go for awalk. Her very happy. Her mother ask her that at the puture what you want to do? Her answer is i want to do manager in the school. when she grow up she do manager in the school. All kid very love her. She work in the school is 5 years is very long time. when her 25 year. She marry with the boy. One year ago dalin and the boy have children. They have 2 children have one boy and one girl. The boy name marak and the girl name lyly. They live happiness ever ofter.
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a good story... i will tell this to my school children.... Anyway what's that "manager " in school means....?
ReplyDeleteRithyka,
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic story! Good work!
I like that you have used lots of short, concise sentences that are easy to understand. I have a very easy time reading it. That's a good thing!
A few things to remember:
1.) I have, she has. She HAS no family
2.) Be careful with your pronouns: They love HER. SHE is very happy.
3.) Future, not Puture
4.) At the end of the story, you can write "They lived happily ever after"
It is a very interesting story. Do you know a girl that this happened to? In English, we would say that the family adopted Dalin. Would you like to be a manager of a school as well?
Keep up the great work!
-Teacher Robbie
Rithyka you are write so good you are so great girl and I think if you write a lote will good
ReplyDeletegood good
writing
I love your story name .
You witting is every good good job Rithyka
ReplyDelete